Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
