i jhust puked up my retainher.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize