Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
