My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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