My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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