Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sorry about my life...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
