i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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