I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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