What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
These tits shall not be calmed
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
