Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
