if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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