Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
