some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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