it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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