Will you blow on my dice?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize