I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
