remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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