I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
