Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
