Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
