Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
