I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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