We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I had to cum in my sink.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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