Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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