Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Are my feet made of real feet?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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