I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
