I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
