I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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