I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
