I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
