maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
