Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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