screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize