Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
