I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
