Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
