What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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