On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
