When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
