Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize