I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
