Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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