The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
