so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
