I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
