Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
