normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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