Swine flu. Run for my life!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
