forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
