I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
