last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
