I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it glows. i had to have it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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