so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
