Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
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