found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize