his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
