I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
