Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I bet he comes in French.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
