I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize