Don't you send me to vm
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
