Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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