hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
