I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
