it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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