i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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