It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
