drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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