Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize